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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26213353">Title to be determined</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chase_22/pseuds/Chase_22'>Chase_22</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abusive Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Abusive Deceit | Janus Sanders, Abusive Parents, Abusive Relationships, Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Daddy Kink, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Molestation, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-consentual daddy kink, Parent/Child Incest, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Underage Rape/Non-con, vent fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:01:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,464</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26213353</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chase_22/pseuds/Chase_22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus was a good boy...so why was daddy making him feel icky?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is based around my own trauma, I will be adding more warnings but for now I will only be writing the sexual traumas so its seen through 1st person POV.</p>
<p>Janus is Remus' stepdad his mom isn't around and his siblings aren't always home.</p>
<p>I'm not making Remus trans like me,so he still has cis male genitals. </p>
<p>This is my first time using AO3 so any feedback is welcome</p>
<p>Don't read if you're triggered by anything mentioned above in the tags</p>
<p>See end notes for more</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Remus. Wake-up, I need to talk to you." Janus spoke softly as I woke up. I was 8, maybe 9...i can't remember. All I know is it was my birthday. Well, almost. It was the night before and my step-dad had come into my room, making sure to be quiet so he didn't wake up my older brother Roman who slept in the bunk under me. </p>
<p>"Is it morning yet?" I asked groggily, hoping the answer was yes. </p>
<p>"No, but I wanted to give you your gift early." I get excited and nod, getting down quietly and following him to the living room, it was so quiet. He laid down on the couch and told me to lay with him. I didn't think much of it then, laying down and curling up like normal. </p>
<p>"No. Keep your legs straight." He told me sternly. I was nervous cause he only spoke like that when he was angry or drunk, but he didn't smell like alcohol...and i didn't want him to get mad or else he would take my birthday gift away. </p>
<p>I pull my legs down and try to go to sleep but its hard in the new position... then I feel it.</p>
<p>His hands drift down my thigh...he starts rubbing me through my boxers...his hand slips into them and he keeps touching me...i want to get away but I cant. I feel him withdrawal and I make an excuse to go to the bathroom, I go back to bed instead. </p>
<p>I cried myself to sleep that night...and the next...and the one after that. I cant count the nights of tears anymore. </p>
<p>My birthday isn't the same anymore...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A night alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Remus tried to be strong...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>again. This is a very graphic fic. It contains child abuse and molestation. </p>
<p>This is a vent fic!!!!! </p>
<p>Do not read if you cannot handle it. I wont be sad, don't worry.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I dont know how much time passed. Months? Weeks? Maybe even a year...but Janus had never brought up the...event. I tried to forget it but soon I was left home alone with him again and it all came crashing back.</p>
<p>"Remus! I need you upstairs. My room." I quickly went to his room, not wanting to make him upset, i had already been in trouble that day for not doing the dishes when I was told to...</p>
<p>"Yes daddy?" I asked softly. I didnt like how the words felt in my mouth...but Janus said he liked hearing me say them. </p>
<p>"Strip." His voice was harsh and angry already. I was nervous and didn't want to be there so I started to leave to go to the bathroom. </p>
<p>"Where are you going?" </p>
<p>"To the bathroom? To take my clothes off..." I hated that I sounded weak. I sounded like a scared little girl. </p>
<p>"No. Take them off here, then sit on my bed." I did as I was told. He took his pants off and I was more confused, he laid down and made me look at him. </p>
<p>"You're going to touch my cock." I must have looked as confused as I felt, this was a new word to me, cause he grabbed my hand and placed it on his member. </p>
<p>He was hard and leaking and it felt weird to me. He made me stroke him despite how I started crying. </p>
<p>"Please...i don't want to do this...i don't want to have sex..."</p>
<p>"We're not going to have sex." He said with a snap, his voice getting more and more annoyed with me. He twitched as i stroked him, i felt sick.</p>
<p>"Say you love my cock." I shook his head and he reached over and grabbed his belt. </p>
<p>"I love your cock!" I said quickly, not stopping my hand. It throbbed in my hand. </p>
<p>"Do you feel that? That means I'm close." He moans. </p>
<p>"Put your mouth on it." He told me. This time I stood my ground. </p>
<p>"No. I dont want to." I had a look of fury in my eyes and I would not do what he said. </p>
<p>Smack</p>
<p>No amount of mouth wash could get rid of the taste...i still taste it to this day.</p>
<p>The next day he took me for a walk to get me away from everyone else in the house. He stopped me and knelt down to my level. </p>
<p>"You know you can't tell anyone about us, right?" I nod. He had told me what would happen if I did many times before...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. the worst of it.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>this is the end of Abusive!Janus...but the story isn't over.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few years passed, with many panic attacks that i only recognize as such now...Janus hadn't touched me and hadn't made me touch him, i don't know which made me more grateful...</p>
<p>We moved to a bigger house when I started 6th grade, it was nice. Better than the crummy apartment we lived in before. I hoped maybe the things Janus did were going to stay in that apartment...i was wrong.</p>
<p>"Remus. We're cleaning out my closet while your mother is out, do you want to help?" He asked me in that tone that indicated that he doesnt care if I say no...it wasn't even a question at this point. The answer was yes...or else.</p>
<p>"Okay daddy..." i get out of bed, close my tab onthe computer I got from my new school, and go downstairs to his room, through the bathroom, and into his walk-in closet. </p>
<p>It's already clean. </p>
<p>"Strip." </p>
<p>"Yes daddy..." </p>
<p>"Good boy. Hands and knees." </p>
<p>"...yes daddy..." </p>
<p>He made me crawl on my hands and knees for an hour...told me to beg for him...when I started crying...he started touching himself.</p>
<p>He enjoyed this...he enjoyed watching me look scared and helpless...this is what got him off. It made me sick.</p>
<p>He left me be for a week. </p>
<p>The next week he told me to help him clean out the closet again...i was so depressed at this point that I didn't care what happened but I would not be humiliated again.</p>
<p>"Strip." </p>
<p>"No." My voice was hard. </p>
<p>"What was that?" He went to grab my chin but I jersey my head back. I looked him in the eyes for the first time since this started. I stood my ground, for real this time.</p>
<p>"I dont care what you do...hit me, kill me...but i will not get on my knees for you anymore." I expected, what I thought was the worst...but what he did i never thought he would...and it was even more horrible. </p>
<p>"Im proud of you. Good for you for finally saying no." My blood boiled but all I could do was leave. Is that how you teach your children to say no? </p>
<p>Was this...normal?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Let it go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Remus gets a boyfriend</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is where the rape happens. </p><p>Don't read if you are triggered by these topics </p><p>Things are only getting worse from here.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Years pass. I start dating people and lose my virginity at the age of 14. A little young, I know...but he was sweet. But we broke up because our parents found out. I date around and eventually start dating a senior when I was a freshman</p><p>I was still 14. He was 18. My mom and Janus didn't seem to mind the fact that I was a child and he was an adult...Janus even made comments on our sex life even though it was non-existant.</p><p>His name was Virgil and he was the sweetest guy I had ever met...for a while...</p><p>I would go to his house after school and we would play video games. Or rather...he would play and i would watch. After a week of dating he started asking for sex. I told him i wasn't the age of consent and that it wouldn't be legal. That didn't do anything...he kept asking.</p><p>One day, when I was over at his house, he started kissing me. I kissed back and he started unbuttoned my shirt. I pushed his hands away and told him i just wanted to kiss...not have sex...but he kept trying.</p><p>After 3 tries to get him to stop pushing for sex i gave in...he undressed me and himself before pushing in...no lube, no prep...it was painful...</p><p>He was rough and ruthless...it hurt so much more than anything I had ever experienced. </p><p>I didn't cum...but i didn't expect to anyway. </p><p>I told him i wanted to go home after that...at least he had the decency to walk me...</p><p>"Are we still walking to school inthe morning?" I asked him softly. He chuckled.</p><p>"Of course." Relief? Washed over me. I nod and go inside. I eat dinner and go to sleep. </p><p>That night I hear tapping on my window. I get up and look up. Virgil was in my window well, tapping on my window. I let him in.</p><p>"What are you doing here?!" I whisper yell.</p><p>"My parents are right above us!" He kissed me to cut me off...we fell back and he laid over me, holding my hip. </p><p>"I just wanted to say goodnight."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>again. This is based on real life events so I dont wanna hear how this is unrealistic. This is how everything happened as I remember it.</p>
<p>This is a vent fix so please don't send hate over this. I dont condone anything that happens to Remus.</p>
<p>Feel free to send me title ideas though.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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